From our preferences developed over time, our brains decide who we are attracted to sexually vs. who we take as a platonic friend—even before we realise it. Subconsciously, you may find someone who wears a certain kind of dress, behaves in a certain way, speaks in a certain way, or puts on certain clothes sexually attractive—and each time you see or stay around someone who possesses either or multiple of those qualities, your brain instantly triggers your body, but is that all? Here is a detailed explanation of why you get uncontrollably turned on by your girlfriend so that even a slight touch could get your wood hard.
How Sexual Chemistry Develops
The chemical release during attraction and lust is what causes sexual chemistry to develop. When we lust or desire to explore someone sexually, more testosterone and estrogen are produced by our brain’s hypothalamus, driving further our desire to engage sexually.
When we get attracted to someone, our brains release significant norepinephrine and dopamine, and these two chemicals make us more energetic and euphoric. Sometimes, they could affect our ability to sleep and our appetite. This is why you can’t sleep, concentrate, or eat when you see someone you’re attracted to.
Why Does My Girlfriend Turn Me On So Much?
Your girlfriend turns you on so much due to a combination of biological, emotional, and psychological factors. Your heightened sense of attraction is a response to her physical traits, body language, and facial symphonies—which seemingly check in with your deepest fantasies.
At some point in my life, I met a stunningly irresistible lady. Once she comes into view, I am no longer the same. We eventually got locked in a situationship, and the sense of attraction grew even further.
Each time she walks in front of me, I get turned on. Each time she speaks, I get turned on. In fact, everything she does gets me turned on. I had to do some therapy sessions to get over her because I wasn’t thinking of anything else.
The therapist had me understand things that got me so hooked on her. She was a master seductress (I don’t know if this was a conscious or subconscious trait of hers). She spoke in such a soft, low-frequency manner. She had the exact walk steps of a cat, and she took her time to sway each step.
She isn’t the most pretty lady I have seen in my life, but she is the most alluring to the point that I still feel shaken in my stomach just writing about her. However, there are lots of things going on behind the scenes that make us feel attached to a person, and I will break them down below.
Biological Factors
Dr. Claire W. Roberts, a professor of psychology at the University of Sydney, explains that our bodies emit signals that determine if the other person’s immune system complements our own, which is a plus for reproduction. This idea is known as MHC (Major Histocompatibility Complex) gene preference. When it is a match, we become attracted to the individual
The physical appearance and symmetry of your girlfriend’s body and face could play a major role too. If you like slim girls who walk, talk, and look a certain way, I can guarantee you that each time she passes, you will skip multiple heartbeats.
Further, you may just be addicted to dopamine and other neurotransmitters that make up the brain’s reward system. Your girlfriend in this case stands as the trigger for the release of these chemicals that give you that euphoric feeling—instigating that desire to have her.
Desire stemming from emotional and psychological connection
Besides the biological factors, emotional factors could also be the pilot of your constant desire for your girlfriend. When you meet a lady you could be vulnerable with—sharing both your weak and strong self without feeling accused or being scared of being judged later—you tend to develop this trust and closeness that makes you revere her—leading to a constant desire to have her.
According to Dr. John Gottman, a leading relationship researcher, trust is an essential ingredient for a sustained and thriving relationship. He explains that trust breeds spontaneous physical affection—making you feel supported and safe.
The psychology of “needing” someone often refers to the desire for emotional security and connection. In relationships where this need is met, sexual attraction tends to be stronger because both partners feel supported and understood. This psychological need for connection isn’t just about wanting physical closeness—it also reflects a deeper, emotional dependency on the relationship for fulfillment. The stronger the bond, the more you feel compelled to maintain the intimacy, which fuels both emotional and physical desire.
Personality and Individual Traits
I am currently seeing someone who has a great sense of humor, and that is such a turn-on. We randomly throw puns and jibes without anyone feeling hurt or taking it personally. Besides that, she is brilliant; she helps with work and raising our son in such a beautiful manner that you can’t help but always desire her.
This could be the case between you and your girlfriend. She may possess individualistic traits that strike chords in your mind, such as how much confidence she exudes, how she gets things around her done, how she cares for people, how she articulates words, or her personality in general.
Moreso, you are probably attracted to your girlfriend because she possesses opposite traits to you. The fact that her brain is wired oppositely could be a spark that keeps eliciting spontaneous desire from you.
Summing Up
Your girlfriend’s appearance, mode of working, articulating words, sense of humor, level of intelligence, or other individualistic, emotional, and biological traits are the common reasons why your girlfriend turns you on excessively.
I would advise that you should take control of this situation if the feeling is not mutual between you two, or she could use it as leverage to enslave you and turn you into a pad she will use to launch herself to other men.
