The feeling of living in ambiguity—enjoying bodily satisfaction with a touch of emotional mediation here and there—is the perfect bubble that most of us have chosen to bury our heads in since it doesn’t require the overwhelming burdens of planning the future, etc. But do both partners see it that way?
Irrespective of our genders, we are uniquely complex, and this is what determines the decisions we are willing to make at every point in time. Plus, one thing that is forever common is change—either toward positive growth or negative decline.
Having been in numerous casual relationships and discussed with over 40 guys on this subject matter, there are common reasons that could cause a guy to quit his casual relationship—either the lack of control over his emotions, dwindled physical attraction, misunderstandings stemming from lack of proper communication, etc.
This piece will let you in on why he called it quits on the casual relationship.
Why did he end the casual relationship?
The cost of being in that relationship
For every relationship framework, there is a cost that we are all willing to shoulder, be it sacrificing ambitions, friends, freedom, our space, or one thing or another. A man could quit a casual relationship if he is tired of sacrificing something essential to his overall well-being—and this could be his space, money, emotions, etc.
In a more defined relationship, he may want to seek to resolve the burdens through compromise with his partner or understanding through communication. However, in a casual relationship, he could just quit the whole thing and regain his peace without having to feel guilty.
Dwindling emotional investment
A casual relationship, like most other relationships, is typically fun and pulsating at first, but when there is no substance to sustain the momentum, a decline in emotional investment occurs.
As much as we like to think that there are not many emotional commitments in casual relationships, it takes a certain level of emotional investment to sit on a ship with no foreseeable direction.
No one loves a stalemate like someone who has a lot to lose, but for someone who has nothing much to lose, a stalemate can be a daunting wilderness to settle in. The desire to start something new or feel a certain kind of way emotionally could have prompted him to quit the casual relationship for another or a real relationship.
Fear of vulnerability
Most guys I spoke with before putting this piece together mentioned these points. At least 27 of the 40 guys. According to VerywellMind, fear of vulnerability in relationships is a reflection of the risks that come with being emotionally vulnerable, such as fear of rejection, uncertainty, feelings not being reciprocated, etc.
When a man is beginning to fall helplessly in love in a casual relationship but is afraid to commit, he may take the route of absconding to save himself from becoming vulnerable and possibly losing his current standing in the scheme of things. If it is not easy being vulnerable about you because of your beauty, attitude, or anything else, you may always have the experience of people just walking off from a casual relationship with you.
Communication breakdown
A common phenomenon in any form of relationship is communication breakdown or absence. When there is no proper communication, either or both sides may not feel heard and understood, and this could prompt irrational behaviors, such as one party exiting the casual relationship suddenly.
Communication helps to set the path at which things flow; it could also raise doubt or uncertainty when not utilized effectively. So if your partner was not able to communicate their feelings or distress caused by the relationship, they will likely quit the casual relationship.
The communication breakdown may not necessarily be your fault; your partner may be suffering from intellectual disabilities of some sort that inhibit their ability to effectively pass their message across or to properly comprehend what you say to them.
Depleted chemistry or attraction
For most casual relationships, the fuel or catalyst is the sexual tension, uncertainty, and suspense that drives the desire and passion felt. When this sexual tension depletes, he could lose interest in retaining the casual relationship with you.
From personal hygiene, nasty habits or attitudes, values, to opinions—could trigger a decline in how much desire a person has for you. I was discussing with one of my casual partners in the past, and she thought Africa was a country. This may be a minor thing, but it triggered me instantly and eventually led to me walking away from the relationship.
Met more mind-blowing partners
What else could make one quit his current job? A better-paying or more comfortable job! Most commonly for guys, quitting any form of relationship stems from the need to have time for a relationship they assume to be better than the current one they find themselves in.
A guy who may be pursuing his fantasies with you under the casual umbrella may likely be willing to take someone else more seriously—and this entails cutting down on the casual relationships that exist in their lives. Women are more calculated when it comes to these things, but for most guys, it usually is an activity of impulse.
The need to pursue purpose
He may have quit the casual relationship so he could get more time on his plate—to be able to pursue his life’s purpose. According to Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, when humans have fulfilled their physiological, safety, social, and esteem needs, the ever-pressing need for one to fulfill his or her potential kicks in.
Summing up
He will quit the casual relationship if you both hold varying values if he is becoming emotionally vulnerable to you, or if it is beginning to cost him so much to maintain the relationship.
While it may be a hurting experience for people to leave your life, you should understand that a casual relationship is not always going to last your lifetime.
